I am a part of a local Facebook group for witches who identify as women. We seek to inform and uplift each other as we talk about the various and completely random things that come up in our journey of life, light, and magic. It’s not formal in any way, it’s mostly beautiful and fun, and sometimes heavy, and most of all it is something I get to be a part of without being the boss!
I can just be. Just being is important. Suck on that for a minute… Being is important.
I know that all humans in this American culture we find ourselves in are having an issue with that right now. And I, in all my glory, am not immune. I will fully admit that my self-esteem on any given day is directly proportional to the amount of revenue, community engagement, or other numerically measurable valued things I produced the day before. Not only that, but I also find it difficult to create art that is not meant for the acquisition of money in some way. And when you are a well known Boss especially a well known Great Boss it seems out of place to be a part of something and not be running the show in one way or another… It seems a waste. For what am I if not Boss Mamma Star the enthusiastic, bombastic Astrostylisist and Task Master Supreme? Am I worth my own breath if I am not crafting the hair of Starlings, and designing parades for the Ypsi masses, leaving sparkle, swagger, and uproarious crowds in my wake?
It doesn’t seem right. Right? That I should be so selfish as to accept love and validity when I am so disgustingly torpid?
Here I have been for two whole months and I have not transformed my body through rigorous diet exercise that I obviously have time for. I have not discovered the Holy Grail of online sales. I have not rearranged, meticulously organized and deep cleaned my home. I still cannot speak very good Spanish. And I am not yet an expert calligrapher. And, as of yet, I have still not convinced the crow that hangs out near my house to land on my shoulder and be my familiar. So what the fuck is the point?! Am I even worth this space I take up?
Turns out, I must be. I haven’t done a strand of hair in eight weeks, I cannot organize a parade in the midst of the apocalypse, I have not been able to pivot my business so well as to produce enough money without ever needing to open again. And yet… my Circle Sisters still talk to me, even when I have no wisdom to give. Friends come out of the woodwork to call me when I announce that I am down. My Tim still comes home and holds me and loves me, even though he worked all day and I, in my grey space, could do nothing more than lose time in a video game for 9 hours. I cleaned no space, I cooked no dinner. And yet… I have value.
And there it is. Without producing a damn thing I have value, and come to think of it, I value my friends and fam whether or not they have anything thing tangible to offer me right now. I love them. They have value to me, simply because they are. Sometimes the simple act of being is all we can muster. The journey gets heavy sometimes and in order to bear the weight, we must drop the other loads. It’s OK, you can put stuff down when you need to. You can always pick it up later if you want to. You can just be.
You being is important.
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